DANCING ALONE

After learning classical Bharatnatyam dance for 5 years. One day, I decided to choreograph on a Bajan. I took many days to think how to set the beat. It was my first time. I took long time on each line, to feel the song and then to think of appropriate steps on it. After a month, working for hours every day finally it got finished.  Yet I was not confident, how it turned out to be. I showed it to my younger sisters, they liked it. Still, I was not sure. What they know about dance! One day my dancer friend came to visit me. She had been choreographing for her temple festivals.  After lunch, I hesitantly told her that I have also choreographed something. 

She asked me to show it to her. She liked it so much that she wanted to learn the same choreography from me. She told me that she will perform it on the stage. Now I not only felt confident but jealous too. Everyone will praise her and nobody will come to know who has cheorgraphed it.

I felt the strong desire to dance on the stage and show my talent to the world. I used to visit a nearby temple everyday. They had a big auditorium. Often filled with the people on special festival occasions. I approached the concern person, he told me to talk to this person and that. One person referred me to another. No body took me seriously. I kept requesting many people “Just give me a chance, it will take only 2 minutes”. I thought, I am volunteering in this temple, working in kitchen, distribution of books, attending all the lectures and serving at festivals yet they are so inconsiderate.

After many months of request nothing worked. I stopped pushing it. One day a foreigner dancer friend came to visit me and she said, “If you introduce me to the temple president, I can convince him.  Then we both can dance together.” I said, “It is a good idea but I have been approaching them for many months, it very difficult to convince them. Instead of giving me a chance, they are putting up all the boring and worthless performances on the stage.” She said, “Let me just talk to them once.” I took her to the president of the temple and left for temple kitchen work. 

After half an hour she came to me and said, “It is done. They have given us two minutes time slot in the end of the cultural programme heading next month”.  I got happy, finally I get to perform on the stage. Also, surprised how did my friend mange to do that and I could not!

Everyday for 2 hour we practised sincerely for a month. We got the best jewellery, and best dress designed. The big day arrived. We both went 5 hours before the programme gets started. The green room was filled with the children, who were going to perform before us. A temple lady, a non professional one, organised the dance for the children. She rudely refused us to use the green room. 

My friend told me to follow her. She took me deep inside the temple in one dark room. What room is this? It seemed like a new auditorium was under construction. She used her mobile phone to put on some light and told me to come behind the chairs. I followed her. We changed the dress somehow and wore the makeup without the mirror.

The programme got started. One after another…all boring. The auditorium was filled with people. No place to stand. It seems people has never seen a good performance. I was getting anxious, and exited. It was getting late and boring programme does not seemed to end any sooner. Now it was 10 pm, finally, our names were announced. What is this? People started to leave the auditorium. There was free dinner Prasad after the programme and people were hungry. Almost everyone left except four people, my aunt, one boy, the temple president and one lady who organised the children’s programme. She was curious to see how we perform. 

I was getting disheartened. But my friend told me let us dance. I followed her. I danced with my full heart into it and enjoyed every bit of it. And I came out of auditorium being fully satisfied and went to have my dinner at the temple. The president of the temple came to me and said, “It was really beautiful performance by both of you. A pleasure for eyes. Sadly people left. ”

But I was not regretting anything. That moment what I realised not only made me very happy but remained with me till date. 

“God can do every thing in an eye blink. The person can become no-one to well know. It is just a moment when the whole game changes. It is just a moment when a failure turns into success. The pleasure is in the process, also in uncertainty, and doubt because then we explore more, we learn more about ourselves. In the end we have a great story to share. 

There is fun in struggle, actually then is no struggle in so called struggle. I was so blissful at the point of time for no reason. Oh.. this journey is so wonderful.

After that the temple lady who watched me dancing gave many chances to dance and choreograph with temple children. And later I performed solo many times till one day I was done.