Certainity from Moment to Moment

The day of my Class X board results arrived. The house was unusually quiet. After seeing so many of my academic failures from Class 3 to 8, nobody expected much. Another failure wouldn’t have shocked anyone.

But things had shifted when Granny changed my school after Class 8. Somewhere deep inside, I decided to focus on studies. I quietly tucked away my love for dancing and singing. Better to stay invisible.

The results came—I had done well. Not a top ranker, but certainly not a disappointment.

The air of celebration didn’t last long. Soon, the congratulations turned into instructions:

“You should take science.”
—Are they out of their mind? That’s not my cup of tea. I think by now they should’ve figured that out.

“Commerce.”
—Things related to money? I’m not interested.

“But arts?”
—I like history, the storytelling part of it, but the dates? I can never remember them.
And then Granny’s voice:
“That’s only for weak students. Be practical. Think about your future.”

I wish I had more choices.

Each voice came with its own weight—like heavy books stacked on my chest. No one asked what I wanted. And to be honest, even if they had, I wasn’t sure how to answer.

Because at that age, I didn’t have a dream.

I used to wonder how some kids just knew what they wanted to become. Maybe their parents chose for them. In my case, my parents were as confused as I was.

So I didn’t choose by passion. I chose by process of elimination.

I took commerce—not because it was the right choice, but because I had no better one. I told myself, The world doesn’t end here. I can always choose something else later, when I’m clearer.

Sometimes, we don’t need to make the perfect choice.
But we do need to be clear in the moment.

And strangely, I always had that clarity—even when confused.
I knew I was confused. And I knew that was okay.

Certainty
Certainty is not a commodity—
It cannot be earned.
Following intuition is a habit
Built over many lives.
Trusting the heart can never be wrong—
But not trusting it
Is not truly being alive.
And if it’s a mistake, make it.
All so-called wrongs
Eventually turn right.