Understanding the Religion

Fold your hands and bow down, visit holy places, repeat the prayers or shloka,what does it mean? Never mind! Fasting but eating many other things. As young children, we just followed it. As we grew up a little, got curious, and questioned, the answer we got was “Just do it”.

In our teenage years, we realized that most of the stories behind different rituals are supporting fear only. Fear of God, that he will punish us if we don’t do this or that. We argued and we were labeled as rebellious, doubtful, and adamant. We decided to participate without putting our heads into it. It is better not to be in the bad books of the family all the time. We simply gave up on this matter.

Hearing the same story year after year, doing the same rituals, it became our habit too.

I was 22 years old; the death of my grandfather shook me inside out. To find the answers, for the first time in my life, I took my religion seriously.

I was fascinated by Gita; Arjuna gave the right words to my questions. Krishna replied in such a way that one answer leads to another question. Krishna knew that the mind cannot understand the simplicity, therefore he churned the mind to such an extent that we reached one point; Krishna said, “Get connected to the inner self, to higher consciousness. From there one can only find all the answers”.

Boss, is it a conclusion or a puzzle? I thought,”Connect with my inner self, higher consciousness?” How is that possible!

At first, I decided to follow the temple and its rituals. Hoping it might help me to connect to my inner self. I started visiting the temple twice a day, attending the prayers, stopped eating onion and garlic, dancing on Kirtanason the streets, taking part in all tiring RathYatras,and pilgrimage trips. I guess an exhausted body does quieten the mind, at least for a few minutes.

Although I did not agree with some of the temple concepts, their preference towards males over females, and other concepts, which I was sure are man-made. But I overlooked them. I had to find the answer.

I continued temple rituals sincerely for many years. One day, while doing rituals, suddenly it struck me that on the working days when I don’t manage to get up on time, I rush myself to reach the college. I try to finish my daily rituals fast – cleaning the Pooja area,giving a bath to the deity, lighting the Diya,and singing the Bhajan,all done like a formality. At the back of my mind thoughts were running- I have to pack my bags, finish my breakfast, hope I get a bus on time, etc. While on holidays, when I am more relaxed, not worried about going anywhere, I enjoy every part of the ritual.

After that, I made a conscious effort to slow down especially during prayers, chanting, and at the temple. Without being familiar with the word awareness, and observation, I was getting aware.

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Since we are born, we see everything in physical form, mother, father, food, water, clothes, school, etc. We can easily connect with the physical form. It is a lot easier to focus on a precise object or mantra because it helps to stabilize our restless mind. Also, easy to visualize God in some form with closed eyes. We get to love him through his stories of kindness. This is normal-we love someone by knowing the person, right!

After practicing rituals for 15 years, I have started practicing meditation for 10 years. Now it is easy to feel peace and silence without any form.   The purpose of whole journey was to realise this. Also, I realised that daily life and all its activities if done in a relaxed way, becomes like meditation, and worshipping god. Rituals are beautiful and good for family bonding if we could add appropriate stories based on hope, courage, and unconditional love. These days, I love to participate in family tradition. The only difference is now I know what I am doing. God is beyond all the forms yet in the form too.

Poem

I am beyond names and forms,

I am beyond mind, desires, thoughts, and fear, 

I am beyond love and attachment,

I am beyond restlessness and anxiety, 

I am beyond success and failure,

I am beyond sadness and joy,

But I am also in names and forms, mind, desires, thoughts, and fear; love, attachment, restlessness, anxiety, success, and failure; sadness and joy.